Ep 115 Terry Bean
[00:00:00] So today I have Terry Bean with me. Terry lives in Queens, New York, where she cares for her mother, to whom her book is dedicated.
Her journey as a life and professional coach has always been guided by one belief: everyone holds the power to create a beautiful life. Through her book Abracadabra, she aims to help children and adults find their happy place, encouraging them to embrace their unique journey, which she hopes will foster a kinder, more connected world.
So welcome, Terry. Thank you so much for having me, Sam Horton. I appreciate it. And thank you, uh, to, uh, introducing me to your audience. Yeah, no worries. I appreciate it. Well, let's just start with your story. Tell us a bit about your journey and how magic and creativity have really shaped your life.
Oh, wow. So my journey, I mean, if we're, we're starting, I get, I get questions like- [00:01:00] You know, I'm not sure when, you know, the happy in Terry Bean started, you know, that kind of thing. And, and I can go back to my childhood because I was, uh, born in '63, interestingly enough. And, uh, at that time, I was born into a, what is now called a blended family, okay?
Okay. So the word blended was not even a concept back in '63. So I had two parents who came together after their previous divorces with respective children, who are my now half-sisters and brothers, right? One of which I lived with, the other two I didn't. And then my parents had me. Mm-hmm. So I almost wanted to write a book back then, interestingly enough, at 11, called I'm an Only Child, But I'm Not, and I've Been Through a Divorce, But I Haven't.
Hmm. Because I felt the impact of the divorce tremendously. Hmm. But I was [00:02:00] still that only child kind of, you know, special, what they wanted us s- say, a special sunshine child. No pressure at all, right? So, you know, the minute, the minute the minute that came into play, I guess, um, you know, dealing with a lot of the, uh, the angst, you know, around their respective divorces and such, and the kids and, and everything, kind of made me feel like I needed to co- cocoon myself in my own happy world.
Okay. Okay? So, and that is interesting, because when people open up the book, they'll see that. They'll see where a child's kind of running from her, her house where sh- her parents were arguing. Hmm. I mean, many of us have experienced that, right? So, and run down, she runs down to her favorite spot by the [00:03:00] lake, and what does she see?
She sees her image, and her image becomes her sage that starts talking to her- Hmm ... about the power within her. Well, what I would do, Sam, is I'd run out of the elevator, and I'd go... 'cause I lived in a building in Queens, New York, and I'd, when I stepped out, I never knew what I was gonna get, and quite often it was screaming that I heard, you know?
And all I wanted to do was run into my room and create Terry's Little Happy Space. And then I became a big mediator in my family, where I tried to use levity and just laughter, just to kind of bring people together- Hmm ... because that's all I wanted. You know, all I wanted is that kind of love and acceptance for everybody.
Hmm. The other part of my bio which is really interesting is in fourth grade, uh, my teacher back then, Mrs. Liebert, I g- you're always amazed, right, [00:04:00] when you remember these names. And Mrs. Liebert tapped me to be the lead in a play about Mother Nature. And so I was Mother Nature on, and I come on the stage, and it is a messy, polluted world, and I'm a mess.
And at the end of the play, I'm in this beautiful little, you know, dress with rose-colored glasses, and as I like to say, those glasses have not come off too much. Okay. So I really see the world, uh, with everything even that's going on, and there's a lot- Mm-hmm ... and that's why I believe that Abraca- Cadabra's- Mm
timing is quite poignant, but I truly see the glass full. Mm. Really, yeah. And, and you use this word magic, right, to express the transformation that you believe is possible for people. So tell us about what that word magic really means to you and why it's become so- That's- ... powerful in your [00:05:00] work. Yeah, that's so interesting.
So yeah, first of all, I mean, uh, you know, magical beans and, I mean, uh, growing up with a name like Bean is just way too much fun, guys. But yeah, it really is. Really. Uh, yet, um, it's the magic within us. So I believe that all of us have what I like to call a wizard inside of us- Okay ... and that's what I teach the children, and the wizard is a magical figure, right?
So it's the magic we- that's within us that we can tap into and base many of our decisions on how that wizard is feeling. So once we are able to teach children, who by the way are probably one of the least empowered, um, um, segments of our society, [00:06:00] demograph of our society are the children, and empower them to understand that they can truly tap in and create lives that they love, unlike at least here in America where close to 86% of- Adults do not love their lives Mm.
So if children f- figure out that they really can create it from within, right? And start trusting themselves and build their self-esteem, and not always look outside for all the approval- Mm-hmm ... make sure that they approve of themselves first and foremost, my belief, core belief, is that children will grow up empowered, happier, more connected adults to themselves and others around them.
Mm-hmm. And it will be a kinder world. It will just, it will transform into a kinder world. Now, [00:07:00] Sam, at this stage, born in '63, I may not be here for that. Mm-hmm. But I have this vision of- Yeah ... these kids kinda going back into their parents' homes, you know, at 25, 30, with all their stuff, you know- Mm ... in the attic or in the basement, and just saying, "Hey, Mom, Dad, w- remember where that book Abracadabra went?"
Mm. You know, 'cause it had that kind of an impact, so that's what I'm hoping. Yeah, that's really powerful. That's beautiful. And I guess, you know, kids don't learn these things unless we teach them, right? So, and I'm sure that you feel that was missing for you in your childhood in terms of just someone teaching you this stuff, right?
Is that true? Yeah, most definitely. I mean, I am... I probably spoke a different language at eight is what I'm figuring. You know? Okay. I just spoke a different language than my parents, so... And a lot of us are... There are a lot of, quote-unquote, "black sheeps" out there, and you don't have to be a black sheep to appreciate this book.
It's just that [00:08:00] I just knew there had to be something different that felt better. Yeah. And that it was kind of up to me to tap into that, and I knew that, uh, fairly early. And, yeah, I have, you know, family that still could call this whatever they want, psychobabble. I, you know, I mean, this is... Yet we're learning more and more how science and, um, spirituality is coming together closer and closer.
Mm-hmm. And how our minds are so, so powerful. Yeah. And somehow that, that secret- Mm-hmm ... was taken away from us, honestly. Yeah. So I'm looking to, um, not reinvent it. Right. I'm just looking to create that outlet to recognize it again- Mm ... and truly practice it, and practice, start practicing it way earlier.
Yeah. Um, so [00:09:00] I remember speaking to someone, Sam, not too long ago, and she was 50, and she looked at me and she said, "Teri," she said, "I have to tell you something, that I didn't tap into th- all of this until I was 50." Yeah So she says to me, "I feel like I've missed out." And I'm trying to say, "No, you didn't. It's- Yeah
it's perfect the way it is," right? Yeah. So yet just think about, you know, six to eight year, six to nine-year-olds understanding that they have- Mm ... this beautiful life that they could lead, and how much happier they will be and, and excited- Mm ... right? Yeah To live life the way- Mm ... they want to. So yeah. And to feel powerful, right?
To feel powerful within themselves. Yeah. Mm. It's awesome. And we're not talking about powerful in terms of conceit. Yeah. Right? So there's a difference. There's a clear difference, and I think, you know, some, um, some caretakers may [00:10:00] feel, um, very intimidated, right? Because- Mm ... uh, you know, you don't... Uh, some people, they're scared.
Well, what if my kid, you know, thinks they're smarter than me, or any of this? Yeah. Well, uh, you know, uh, we're, we all at this point in our lives really can listen to each other better. Mm-hmm. Can hear each other better. There's so much going on. There's so much coming at us. Uh, the internet, the technologies, the social media, all of this has actually really hurt us in many ways.
I'm not saying it's all bad. Mm. I'm just saying that for children especially, they're out there. They want to now be not only get the approval from their parents, but now they need approval from social media. Yeah. So what that's done, it's, it, it's all of a [00:11:00] sudden they're looking to build their self-esteem on a, a, a farce.
I mean- Mm ... it's really basically a farce. So, you know, to be able to hand them a little bit of a roadmap- Mm ... by empowering them is, uh, is the, the type of tool that I'm giving them. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So powerful. So how does this, you know, magic in life then, how does it relate to creativity? Um, and can you have- Ah
one without the other? Ooh, that's really an interesting question, right? Mm. So if I'm, uh, if I'm hearing you right, you're saying can you be powerful and not creative, or can you be creative and not powerful, or powerful and... you know. Yeah. Chicken, egg, egg, chicken, whatever they want to say. So, um,
I think when you're [00:12:00] creative, you're tapped into a different way of thinking about things Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm I think a powerful person could also come from pure ego. Yep. Right? So when a powerful person comes from pure ego, they're not really taking in on, first of all, how their presence and how their, um, their cadence or their approach is affecting people.
Mm-hmm. Mm. I think creative people are a little bit more sensitive- Mm-hmm ... to what's happening th- around them. Mm-hmm. You know, they're a bit more empathic sometimes. Mm-hmm. And I'm not saying all the time. You can't... I don't, I don't sit here, I have markers all over here right now, and I don't just draw on the wall and say, "It's everybody."
Mm. Mm. You, you just can't do- No, no ... with anything Is it, is it authenticity, though? You know, is that the [00:13:00] difference? But is it authenticity- Yeah ... and truth? Absolutely. You get that. But we all have our own truth. Mm. And someone would say that a belief is just a thought you keep thinking. Yeah. Right? But the minute we hold ourselves accountable for those thoughts is when we become more authentic in ourselves.
Mm. Mm. Right? Mm. Because now we're accepting ourselves, and we're accepting our own truth. Mm. And our truth doesn't have to be someone else's truth. Yep. And our truth doesn't necessarily have to be accepted either. Yeah. So that's where you have to, you know, we can literally separate the two and just stand in our strength.
Mm. Mm. Stand in our person, you know? It's an inside job, like you said, so yeah. Full on. Full on inside. Yeah. Yeah, really. And it... You know what? For me, creativity is fun. And, [00:14:00] um, for people in general, I think we have to put the fun back into everything. Yeah. Like, everything, you know? And once we do that and we lighten up a bit- Mm
ah, magic does happen, by the way. Yeah. It truly does. Things will be brought to you in different ways. You'll... You... When you start playing- Mm ... with how things are, are brought to you and you have fun with it, and if something doesn't seem right, you flip it around and turn it into a gift. Yeah. Because pretty much most things are gifts that are presented to us by higher powers, and it's fantastic.
And when you play with it more and more, more comes to you. So what's happened to our children, many, is that, um- For whatever reason, it's like we pull the fun out of them. We pull that creativity, and, and it could be equated to creativity sometimes, right? So we pull it out of them by [00:15:00] saying to them, "No, no, no, no.
Be a grown-up." Yeah. "You have to act serious. You have to be serious for anybody to take you seriously." Mm-hmm. "And you have to be serious when you grow into an adult." Mm. That was a load of you-know-what to be handed, you know, as we were growing up. So let's take that out of the equation for these kids that are now coming into, you know, generation after generation, and who are gonna be taking over this wo- world.
Mm. You know? Mm-hmm. So. So how has creativity helped you to personally create more kind of magic in your life? Hmm. Well, I've been a right-brainer for a long, long time. So whether it's writing, I mean, I wrote poems when I was a young child. Mm-hmm. Uh, in elementary school and, um, I got into a little bit of sketching, but not much.
[00:16:00] I, I've always wanted to sing, uh- Mm-hmm ... yet I just never went there. I would love to maybe one day get on a stage. Uh, I also, um, created bookmarks, interestingly enough. They're called Beautifully Beaded Bookmarks, and they're lovely, and I had a true passion behind that because it was so personalized for people.
So I became... It was very mission-oriented. Once I understood what that person enjoyed and liked- Okay ... I customized that bookmark and it, and it just, it just made me so... I- it so fulfilled me in such a way, and I think that when you can choose whether it's a hobby or something to focus on that is creative- Mm
it's extremely fulfilling. Mm-hmm. You know, especially if there are other people who enjoy it and have fun with it too. Um, this book, Abracadabra, was written [00:17:00] 14 years ago. Okay. Over 14 years ago. Okay. Which is just amazing, right? Mm. So there are a lot of people who have... They have a book inside of them.
Everybody... You ever hear the term everybody has a book inside of them? Yes. Well, it's really true. Now, I've had a few, but this is my first children's book. Yeah. Now, what's interesting is when I wrote this book, I was surrounded by people who were a bit cynical, and I think that's why I took it up then, right?
Mm. Mm-hmm. What a friend noticed in my communication about my childhood and the elevator story and all of that- Mm-hmm ... is that, "Terry, Abracadabra is actually you." And I said- I, I like I never- Like I didn't, I... And then I kinda said, "Ah, it kinda is I guess," right? In a way. Yeah. Um, one of the mantras that I have in my book, I [00:18:00] have t- a couple of different places where parents and teachers can use it as a springboard of learning- Mm-hmm
to a child. 'Cause again, a child doesn't understand what a mantra is, a child doesn't understand what affirmations are. But as soon as we get them into the mindset that that will help them create a better environment for themselves and a better world- Mm ... and all of this, they'll start to practice these things over and over again.
Yeah. So I've decided to take the children's books illustrations into a coloring book. Mm-hmm. And then there are two exercises in the back of that coloring book that can really help them dream and create some powerful days ahead. Yeah. So I mean, the book is kind of a tool in itself, but you know, what are your, what are your favorite tools, that you use, when you're supporting other people to cultivate more magic in their lives?
You know, what, what are your favorite go-tos?[00:19:00]
So, you know, gratitude we talk about all the time, right? Mm-hmm. In this space. Mm-hmm. So gratitude is really big. But before you get to gratitude, you also have to forgive yourself, 'cause I think a lot of, um, people have not forgiven, uh, their inner child and- Mm-hmm ... and also apologized to their inner child, you know- Mm-hmm
for kind of forgetting about her or he. And that's something I share with clients of mine as well as giving them the tools, the gratitude in the morning when you wake up. Like literally- Mm-hmm ... knowing that when you go to sleep, you're basically waking up to almost the same vibration as the night before.
So make sure you go to sleep thinking, just give it one positive thought about your day. Go through your day. Mm. Find the joy in the day, a couple of pieces of joy in the day. Review that, smile to [00:20:00] yourself. Mm. Smiling is huge. Yeah. It's, and laughter is just unbelievable. Mm. I always call them little orphans that are running around my body.
You know? I mean, it's endorphins, and it's just, you know, it feels so good, right, to smile and laugh. And, um, but go to sleep in that kind of happy space, and wake up in the morning- Mm-hmm ... and the minute you hit the ground and you say thank you with two feet- Mm-hmm ... you, and then start, before you pick up that phone, and I am- Mm
at fault at this all the time. Yeah. Before you pick up the phone and start going through the emails or the texts or whatever, just again face it down- And how do you want to intend your day? Mm-hmm. What's the, what's the mantra that- Mm-hmm ... you wanna say? Now, for me, for Terry Bean, it's everything is always working out for me.
Yeah. And I have to tell you, Sam, that I probably say that I can't tell you how many times through my day. [00:21:00] Yeah, okay. That's great. Okay. So sometimes, you know, we can- we have control over our thoughts. I mean, my thoughts could go to many different things. Yeah. I could be sitting with someone and they're going through something rough.
I'm listening, I'm hearing, right? Mm-hmm. But I'm not taking on and getting sucked into any kind of energy that's gonna completely throw me off, 'cause I can't do- Yeah ... I just spoke to a friend the other day. I said, "I can't get the, get into the hole with you." Mm-hmm. "Because if I get into the hole with you, I'm not gonna be able to bring you out."
Yeah. It's not up to me to bring you out. It's up to you, but I'm here to help you do that. And if I'm in that hole with you, yeah- Yeah ... it's not gonna work. Yeah. So. So is this magic then that you live your life by? I mean, you sort of touched on it before, but is it something bigger than ourselves?
You know, is it, is it ultimately a spiritual connection? Mm. Really good question. Um, I [00:22:00] think it's not only a spiritual cl- connection. So it's not, it's not, uh... It's sacred- Yeah ... yes. Uh, but it's the relationship we have with ourselves. Mm-hmm. Right? Mm-hmm. So if you consider that source, so to speak, is within us, within every single one of us, then it's truly our connection to ourselves and our own source.
Yeah. Source as a whole, whether you wanna call it God or universe or anything, and I've named it everything. So whatever the power is that's around us, it's all energy, and it's all vibrating in a certain way where you can manifest some extraordinary things in your life. Mm-hmm. Mm. And that's, that's having a core belief in knowing, [00:23:00] in truly knowing that everything will work out for you.
Yeah. Um, and oh my God, like I said before, if for some reason it doesn't, it goes off, off the course that you had envisioned, there is a gift in that. So one of my keys that I talk to people about, Sam, in terms of manifesting, is it's really important not to hold on to whatever that goal is and be attached to that goal.
'Cause if you're attached to that goal, the how to get there is gonna be way too important. Mm-hmm. And that, then all of a sudden things will happen that are a little funky through, and your reaction to that, if that's negative, is gonna pop you out and throw you off course. Yeah. Totally. So the, uh, as we all know another thing, the joy is in the journey.
Just keep that joy. Mm. Keep that kind of positive momentum, [00:24:00] fun, you know, enjoying all the moments when, you know, when you come upon... Most often when you're in this space, by the way, the people that don't belong in your space will just pop off. Yeah. They'll just pop off. They won't, you know, they won't be around.
And just keep in that space, and if someone comes in that is funky, you know, so to say, whatever, just don't get, don't get into it with them. Yeah. And definitely don't judge. Yeah. Everyone's on their own, own journey. Then, then over yourself. Yeah. Mm. I mean, the judging, I've come across so many people now, you know, that are hard on themselves, just Terrybly hard on themselves.
Mm, mm, mm. So for all the women out there who are curious about, you know, finding their own magic in their life, you know, what powerful message or question would you like to leave them with today?[00:25:00]
I like them all to ask themselves what if. Just what if. And that blank, let them fill it in. Fill it in with whatever they know if they step into they'd feel wonderful joy. Mm. Not, not judging it because they haven't done it yet, not trying to figure it out, right? Mm. Just throwing it out there, because that in itself starts to ignite- Mm
a small little flame that's inside of us. And then every day just kind of say, "What if? Huh, what if?" And all of a sudden they'll meet someone who will just press that button that much harder, and they'll say, "You gotta be kidding me. [00:26:00] I was just thinking about this the other..." And you know, and it's just-
synchronicity is what I love to call awesome, right? Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Because you're in awe. Yeah. You're in complete awe when this stuff happens. Mm. It just makes it so much more fun. So yeah, the what if question, and the other thing I'd leave you with is focus on you. Mm. Focus- So good You know? Not partner, not children.
Always have time for yourself. Never feel guilty for it. Mm. You have to come first. Of course. You really have to come- It's the only thing we really have control over, isn't it? You know, our decisions, actions, thoughts, whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Mm. Exactly. So- So, so good ... I'm happy to speak with any of your, um...
I know we're, we're across the [00:27:00] pond and- ... and then some. Um, but, you know, I'm here in New York. I'm happy to speak with anybody. They can, they can find me at terrybeanauthor.com. Excellent. Thank you so much for chatting with me today, Terry. Loved our conversation. Thank you. I loved it too. Thank you, Sam.
Thanks so much.
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